Becoming a mother is incredible. It’s full of an absolute whirlwind of emotions, challenges and firsts but it is amazing. There is also not one right way to do it. The beauty of it is that we live on a planet with billions of mothers, and each one has their own understanding of what it means to be a mum. It’s a gorgeously diverse world, and you’re not alone in navigating this strange newness that you’re now in. 

BUT

It can feel like such an uphill battle at times, and also really isolating. The thing is, it’s really not just you that’s feeling that. It’s one of the biggest communities in the world. It’s absolutely okay to have those moments of frustration, have a cry, feel like you just can’t do it. But it’s also good to have some quick check lists that you can apply to your daily habits that mean you feel a little bit more together with it. 

Being a London and Buckinghamshire newborn and family photographer I have the privilege of meeting so many beautiful new mums, experiencing moments where they are both bewildered and then ones where they’re bossing it. I asked my new mama clients to give me all their favourite top tips about how to live your best life as a new mum. I have put together my favourite pieces of advice I received so that you can have a read. 

1. Go with your gut (and don’t get bogged down by other opinions or books)

This is such a brilliant one in my opinion. It is about valuing your own advice and your own feelings. Instinct is massive when it comes to being a parent, and although it may not always be 100% right, it’s worth learning to listen to your own feelings and validating them. You know your child best. 

2. The tough times are just phases… 

This one came up A LOT. Each phase of life is different, and that mentality applies when looking at parenting also. Raising a child is bound to be one of the most varied, complicated and layered things you ever do. Each phase is going to be different to the last, and have its own difficulties and eases. The best thing to think with this is that a phase is a moving thing, and you won’t remain in it forever. If you’re in a tough period, it will pass.

3. You will sleep again!

Again, this came up a lot. It’s worth remembering the advice about phases on this one. Not sleeping is one of the most infuriating, upsetting and debilitating things, but it will PASS. Try and get sleep where you can, don’t prioritise giving the house a hoover or getting that last laundry load on over putting your head down if your body truly needs it. The email can wait to be sent, close your eyes when you can. Also purchasing an eye mask and just allowing your eyes to have 'rest time' is sometimes just as good as actually getting to sleep. Don't put your body under pressure to fall asleep.

4. Prioritise your self care

I love this one. It is about giving yourself a mental and physical hug. It’s useful to consider with the previous point also. If you aren’t getting the sleep you need, and you physically can’t catch up on it, then try and consider some of the other things you can do to look after your body. Give yourself a bath, book yourself in for a massage. Join a yoga class, do an online gym class, order yourself a new gift, cook your favourite meal. The things that may seem laughable and a ‘luxury’ are truly not if you’re in need. As a new mother it is easy to neglect your own needs as you care for your baby, but really the more you look after yourself, the better you can look after them. 

5. Accept help

You don’t have to do it all on your own! Accepting help from your friends or family can really make a bad day, feel like a possible day. Don’t be afraid to lean on your support network when you need to. Equally, the help doesn’t have to be human! Having an app that reminds you when to feed, or a nap schedule planner can make the world of difference. Equally, connecting with other mothers can be really useful. Simply having a conversation with someone else who is experiencing similar things to you can take a lot of weight off your shoulders and make it all feel a bit brighter. This can be on social media, or in person. 

I’m going to add in one last bonus one of my own, kindness. Above all, it is so important to be kind to yourself. You have done amazing already, and navigating the highs and lows is nothing short of complicated. Be gentle, and allow yourself to feel how you’re feeing. Celebrate your victories and remember that you are enough. 

It's been fascinating having all your responses come in, do let me know if there are any others you'd like to add into the list! Feel free to drop me a DM on instagram, and give me a follow. I would love to chat and connect.

All my best, Ruby x

Equally, if you would like to ask any questions about booking a photoshoot with me, drop me an enquiry below.